8886The LOST tag is the funniest thing because it’s mostly full of hipsters
but then
(Source: lost-and-hufflepuff)
i really like touching people like not in a sexual way just touching them. stroking their arm, holding their hand, gouging their eyes out
(via idontcareaboutmyabcs)
omfg my Mom was just cutting a baguette and I snuck up behind her and gabbed the bread and ran and she was like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” and I shouted “I’M 24601” and now I’m hiding in my room with a huge baguette what do I do
Update: I’ve built a barricade
You are my idol
(Source: samandriel, via asphoddel)
HOW DO YOU START A RELATIONSHIP?
DO YOU WALK UP TO SOMEONE AND SAY I SHIP US?
HELP
HOW DO I FUNCTION IN SOCIETYI WOULD IMMEDIATELY DATE SOMEONE IF THEY SAID ‘I SHIP US’
(Source: kerryswashington)
what did hitler say right before he died
i did nazi that coming
just kidding hitler killed himself
(Source: caleb-denecour, via myfatherisdarthvader)
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and killing you instantly
thats why you have to make sure you have huge pockets before you go house shopping duh
(via myfatherisdarthvader)
I think the Lana lyric that I relate to the most is
“Looking to get fucked hard”
(via nickkicks)
Last year i had this roommate that randomly liked to practice giving birth for fun.
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
